renewed

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looking back but heading forward October 15, 2009

Filed under: Uncategorized — bogna30 @ 1:04 am

I don’t have a lot of time to write tonight but I needed to get this out before I head of to work.

So, I’m kind of in a funk today.  I miss my friend Lee a lot.  He was a hero.  A pioneer.  He made people feel extremely loved.  He impacted the lives of many, many people while he was alive and tons more since his residency was changed to heaven.

He’s my hero not only for the way he faced cancer but mostly because of how he loved others.  He cared, genuinely cared, about how your life was.  Took time to listen and had some amazingly practical insight into issues.

Lee was a pioneer in planting simple churches on campuses.  He didn’t set out to be. . . but he was.  Lee had an encounter with Jesus that lead him to read the gospels and the book of Acts.  He said that if Jesus lived that way then he could too.  And did.  Allegheny College changed as one person chose to be step out and live like Jesus did and would.

He made it look so simple.  To love, live, be like Jesus.  Why is it that I make it so complex? There are no “steps” in being like Jesus.  I just need to do it.  BTW- This is not about being like Lee. He had his own destiny.  This is me desiring to be like Jesus. To love without expectation of getting something back.  To impact my world by doing simple things like caring for others. Taking a minute to really hear what someone is saying. And having boldness and faith to pray and believe that God will show up to take care of the rest.  No more sub-par encounters with Jesus.

 

Heart’s Cry October 12, 2009

Filed under: Uncategorized — bogna30 @ 1:29 pm

So I woke up this morning with the lyrics of “From the Inside Out” (Joel Houston) running through my brain. To be more exact it was “My heart and my soul, I give you control“.  They grew in volume as they played continuously, til finally it seemed as my heart was desperately crying out for God to do something. . . which it was.

“Here, I’m giving YOU control.  I am tired of trying to figure everything out and then failing miserably or putting stains on friendships.  Jesus, You are all I want.  You!  You are my Savior, my Lover, my Friend, my Jesus.  You delight in me as a bridegroom delights over his bride.  You know all and have only the best for me. I love you!”

"From the Inside Out" ~ I highlighted my heart's cry
Joel Houston

A thousand times I’ve failed
Still Your mercy remains
And should I stumble again
I’m caught in Your grace
Everlasting
Your light will shine when all else fades
Never ending
Your glory goes beyond all fame

Your will above all else
My purpose remains
The art of losing myself
In bringing You praise
Everlasting
Your light will shine when all else fades
Never ending
Your glory goes beyond all fame

In my heart and my soul
Lord I give You control
Consume me from the inside out
Lord let justice and praise
Become my embrace
To love You from the inside out 

Everlasting
Your light will shine when all else fades
Never ending
Your glory goes beyond all fame
And the cry of my heart
Is to bring You praise
From the inside out
Lord my soul cries out
 

Hello world! October 23, 2008

Filed under: Uncategorized — bogna30 @ 4:46 am

Welcome to WordPress.com. This is your first post. Edit or delete it and start blogging!

 

To Go Forward. . . or Not? That is the Question August 2, 2008

Filed under: Revelations, Uncategorized — bogna30 @ 11:46 pm
Tags: ,

So I am sitting here struggling. “With what?” you may ask. I am struggling with the simple fact that I made plans to do something tonight with my family and then found out that some of my friends are getting together for a game of mini golf. Some might say, “Well, what’s the big deal about that?” The big deal is that I absolutely love to play mini golf. AND I absolutely love playing with these friends because there is never ending competition and laughter. It’s a great way to spend the evening. Not saying that spending time with my family isn’t but, well, it’s just different.

“So go”, could be the response given to that but my answer is “no, although I really want to, no.” You see while I was in California for worship school, the Lord and I had some conversations about this very thing. I say that I will do something and then when something else comes up I try to figure out how I can either get out of the first one or do both. It’s something I am not very proud of. I end up hurting people I care about for one of two reasons. One: I think I will have more fun doing the second thing. Two: I have a hard time saying “no”. Neither reason is a good reason to cancel plans.

I think this also has to do with following through on a commitment. That is another area in which I struggle. Well, actually, I struggle with both making commitments and following through with them. I am not sure why I struggle with making commitments except for the fact that I am holding out to see if something more appealing comes along. I think “fear of the unknown”  and “fear of failure” also have something to do with it. And maybe the idea of submission as well. (Commercial: As you can tell, I have strayed a bit from the “mini golf vs. family time” but that’s OK. . . it’s my blog. Anyway I already know what I am going to do. FAMILY TIME ALL THE WAY BABY!!! And it is going to be amaaaaazing!Now back to today’s presentation. . .) If I am waiting on making a commitment because I want to see if anything better comes along, then am I really trusting in God? That HE is going to give me His best? Or maybe the question should be am I really willing to listen to Him and follow through on what He is inviting me to do?

I guess this is where the “fear of the unknown” comes in to play. I may not know what God will be inviting me to in this next year (or the rest of my life for that matter) but I do know that He has plans. Jeremiah 29:11 says “I know the plans I have for you,’ says the Lord ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” If I believe that God plans to prosper me and not harm me and plans to give me hope and a future, then why in the world is the “fear of the unknown” coming into play? Man, the enemy is sneaky and smart. He has so many of us stopping in our tracks just as we are about to jump into the next “glory” (being taken from glory to glory) because we are afraid of what’s to come (or the unknown). I think, and just for the record I believe God does as well, that it is time we kick the enemy in the teeth and jump with all our might! So many of us are sitting on the edge of our current spiritual ledge, wondering what it would be like to get to a higher place. Though the place is different for each individual, they all have at least one thing in common, it is a place in which we become closer to Jesus. More intimate with Him. A place where we walk in greater revelation of who He is and who we are in Him.
I will talk about the other reasons at another time.  For now I will say that this has been extremely interesting seeing what has come out of this blog.  I started out trying to work through some stuff and ended up having a revelation of where I truly am with making and walking out commitments. This has been amazing.

 

. . .I’m your treasure? I’m sorry. July 30, 2008

Filed under: Treasure Hunts — bogna30 @ 5:11 pm

I guess before I get started with my indepth writing I should maybe do a quick intro and update about who and where I am.  For those of you who have reached me through a link on someone elses page. . . my name is Amy.  I am completely in love with Jesus.  I love to sing, laugh, try to dance, and simply be myself in all areas of my life.  I live in Western PA.  (GO STEELERS!!!) My dreams are to see people understand their true identity and travel. Other than that, what can I say. Oh. . . why do I blog?  I am beginning to blog so that I have a somewhat safe place to write out what I am feeling and doing through.  I will probably write about new revelations, adventures, and hopefully one day I’ll write about new love.  If you want to know more, I guess you’ll have to read my blog.

So now that that is done. . . on with the blog!   I am apart of an amazing fusion church called City On a Hill.  We are just a group of people who are going hard after Jesus and attempting to walk as he did.  I used to think that we were better than everybody else, but now I know (thanks to Jesus) that we are just another part of the body and no one is better than the next. 

Anyway, awhile back we started going out on “treasure hunts” .  These treasure hunts are somewhat different than the normal pirate treasure hunts of old. Instead of having a map drawn out for us that shows certain islands and trees and other such things, we ask God to give us the clues for the hunt.  Things that we normally get are the color and type of clothing a person has on, what needs prayed for, names of individuals, locations, and anything out of the ordinary.  Now that I have explained the difference I will say that the ending is still the same. . . WE FIND TREASURE!!!!

In the past, the clues that I have written on the list have not normally been found, at least not during the allotted time given for the treasure hunt.  It can be pretty disheartening at times when you don’t see stuff come about.  So this brings me to this past Monday.  After a long day at work, I wasn’t really sure that I was “in the mood” to go on one of these treasure hunt’s but decided to go anyway.  I met up with three other people and spent some time praying before we made our list.  While I was writing my list out, I received a video text message from my brother.  I soon realized that this was the first of 3 messages that Brad had sent me.  What was in the message?  His treasure hunt list!  (Some of you are probably wondering what this has to do with anything.  Stay tuned. . . you’ll understand)

Once we had our list we decided to head to one of the local grocery stores since it was the closest thing on the list (Brad’s list).  We no sooner had walked into the parking lot than a guy that a few of us had met a couple years ago came by us on his bike.  Our group stood in the parking lot wondering what to do next.  Was it really him? Are we supposed to talk to him? Do we wait for him to come out of the store?  What do we do?  We meandered over to the front of the store and wait for the individual in question to come out.  As we were walking across the parking lot, my aunt asked where the guy had parked his bike.  The response was in the corner. Guess what.  Corner was on my list!!!!!  There were also people with pink shirts and blue shirts walking in and out the store which was on another person’s list.

After a few minutes, the guy came out of the store and we began to talk.  When we explained what we were doing, his response to us was “I’m your treasure? I’m sorry.”  My heart sank.  I realized that this guy didn’t really understand how important he is to God.  When we asked if there was anything we could pray for him about the answer was no, so we blessed him and went our separate ways.

While walking to the next location on our map, we came across some old friends that we hadn’t seen for a while.  Another treasure! It was so good to catch up on all the news with them.  After talking for about 15-20 minutes, we invited them to come out for church and then we were off again to find more treasure. 

One of the clues on my aunts list had something to do with a park with flags.  As we walked by the park, we saw that there wasn’t anyone there so we decided to check out the remaining locations and then check the park on the way back to the house.  Our next stop was a local fast food restaurant.  When we got to the parking lot it was decided that we would walk around the building and pray blessings over the business.  We did just that and then headed across the street to a pharmacy. 

As we were walking into the parking lot we saw a lady with red hair and a pink shirt getting out of her car. Guess what. . . red hair was on my aunt’s and my list and the pink shirt was on one of the other team member’s list!!!!! My aunt flagged the lady down just as she was about to go into the store. As we explained what we were doing, she told us that she wasn’t apart of any treasure hunt.  We explained a little better and she made the comment that maybe she should be part of our church and that she had been doing some searching of her own.  

We showed the lady our ”treasure map” and began to ask if she had anything wrong that was on our list.  When I read off knees she became really excited, explaining that her daugther had called her just before she left to come to the pharmacy (which she wasn’t really planning on doing at thtat time) and said that her knees were really bothering her.  I asked her which knee and she said both.  Why is this important? Because when I got the word “knee”, I specifically asked God which knee but he never specified.  It wasn’t until I was told that it was both of her knees, I figured out why I hadn’t heard anything. I then asked what her daughter’s name was and . . . her name was on my list!!!! We all became super excited as we realized more and more that we had found our treasure. 

After praying and giving her one of our number’s we headed off to see if anyone was at the park with the flags.  On the way, we ran into a friend of ours and he joined us as we continued on to the park and the back to the house.  When we got to the park this time there were three girls there, one of which we had known from church and the soup kitchen we used to do.  We talked for a few minutes and then headed back to the house for debriefing.  At the house we ended up praying for our friend’s knee.  The pain left!   GO GOD!!!

This treasure hunt was filled with reconnecting with old friends each of which set the stage timewise to meet the lady at the pharmamcy and the girls in the park.  Timing is such a huge thing.  If we hadn’t waited at the store (thanks Brad) and talked to the first guy then he might not have heard that he was a treasure both to us and to God. If we had skipped one thing or spent too much time on another then who’s to say that we would have found all of our treasures. I am learning more and more about the importance of listening to and following the voice of God.  I cross paths with “treasures” daily but for the most part I am too distracted to hear what God has for me and them.  I don’t want to be that way anymore. . .  I want my heart to hear and know the voice of God.  To follow Him without question.  To be faithful in the small things such as his invitations to go places.  I don’t want anything to keep me from Him and all He is!