So I am sitting here struggling. “With what?” you may ask. I am struggling with the simple fact that I made plans to do something tonight with my family and then found out that some of my friends are getting together for a game of mini golf. Some might say, “Well, what’s the big deal about that?” The big deal is that I absolutely love to play mini golf. AND I absolutely love playing with these friends because there is never ending competition and laughter. It’s a great way to spend the evening. Not saying that spending time with my family isn’t but, well, it’s just different.
“So go”, could be the response given to that but my answer is “no, although I really want to, no.” You see while I was in California for worship school, the Lord and I had some conversations about this very thing. I say that I will do something and then when something else comes up I try to figure out how I can either get out of the first one or do both. It’s something I am not very proud of. I end up hurting people I care about for one of two reasons. One: I think I will have more fun doing the second thing. Two: I have a hard time saying “no”. Neither reason is a good reason to cancel plans.
I think this also has to do with following through on a commitment. That is another area in which I struggle. Well, actually, I struggle with both making commitments and following through with them. I am not sure why I struggle with making commitments except for the fact that I am holding out to see if something more appealing comes along. I think “fear of the unknown” and “fear of failure” also have something to do with it. And maybe the idea of submission as well. (Commercial: As you can tell, I have strayed a bit from the “mini golf vs. family time” but that’s OK. . . it’s my blog. Anyway I already know what I am going to do. FAMILY TIME ALL THE WAY BABY!!! And it is going to be amaaaaazing!Now back to today’s presentation. . .) If I am waiting on making a commitment because I want to see if anything better comes along, then am I really trusting in God? That HE is going to give me His best? Or maybe the question should be am I really willing to listen to Him and follow through on what He is inviting me to do?
I guess this is where the “fear of the unknown” comes in to play. I may not know what God will be inviting me to in this next year (or the rest of my life for that matter) but I do know that He has plans. Jeremiah 29:11 says “I know the plans I have for you,’ says the Lord ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” If I believe that God plans to prosper me and not harm me and plans to give me hope and a future, then why in the world is the “fear of the unknown” coming into play? Man, the enemy is sneaky and smart. He has so many of us stopping in our tracks just as we are about to jump into the next “glory” (being taken from glory to glory) because we are afraid of what’s to come (or the unknown). I think, and just for the record I believe God does as well, that it is time we kick the enemy in the teeth and jump with all our might! So many of us are sitting on the edge of our current spiritual ledge, wondering what it would be like to get to a higher place. Though the place is different for each individual, they all have at least one thing in common, it is a place in which we become closer to Jesus. More intimate with Him. A place where we walk in greater revelation of who He is and who we are in Him.
I will talk about the other reasons at another time. For now I will say that this has been extremely interesting seeing what has come out of this blog. I started out trying to work through some stuff and ended up having a revelation of where I truly am with making and walking out commitments. This has been amazing.
